Humans love rituals and we have marked life’s ‘big moments’ by performing rituals since the beginning of time. Weddings have always leant into these symbolic rites of passage; consider the exchanging of gold rings placed onto a couple’s fingers to represent their commitment to each other. But, do rituals have to be loaded with historical tradition to be meaningful to the people at the centre of them?
I would say no… I would say with a celebrant-led wedding you don’t have to follow the rules. I would say let’s literally get into the sand box and play.
What is a sand ceremony?
A sand ceremony at its heart is the layering of coloured sand into a central vessel. Yet it is also symbolic of how a couple comes together, each with their own colours, textures and ‘grains’ of life experience. A marriage is the gentle build up of those layers. The co – mingling of those lives that would now be entirely impossible to separate. It’s a beautiful, highly visual, symbolic ritual that creates a real showstopping moment in a ceremony. It’s highly versatile too.
Is your marriage more than just the union of a couple? Is it the ‘blending’ of each other’s families? Are there significant people that are also mixing their lives together through this marriage; i.e. children or step – children. Can those children also add their layers of sand to the mix to represent their importance in celebrating the relationship?
A sand ceremony is playful and it can be quite robust! Making a mistake in the ‘pouring’ only adds to the charm and it’s also a ceremony that can take place indoors or outdoors.
There is also scope to add lots of individuality to it. What ‘vessels’ might a couple like to pour their individual sand from? Would you like a wine glass and a pint glass, or are we looking at mason jars, hourglasses or hurricane vases. Perhaps the children can join in with little egg cups.
What words might accompany the pouring? This is another opportunity to tell your story as a couple and lean into images, sentiments and ideas that represent you as a couple.
R & L’s wedding and their sand ceremony
One of my favourite ‘sand ceremonies’ was for R & L. They had emigrated to Australia a few years earlier and had legally got married there (by a Celebrant – you can legally do that there!). However, they wanted their big day to happen with all their family and friends in England and for it to look and feel like a traditional wedding – with some added extras. The sand ceremony suited them so well, as they had got engaged on the beach in Brisbane and they used some sand from that beach as part of their layers. They also included sand from a beach in Wales where they had had a pre – wedding holiday with family and friends. R & L have a little boy who was nearly two at the time and he wanted to add his sand too (we used an egg cup!). R & L had a monogrammed glass each, which made a beautiful keepsake (a wine glass for the bride and a pint glass for the groom). I wrote some words to say during this ritual which felt meaningful to them. I have included them here:
Sand can be representative of many things: sand is glass and stone with all its sharp edges smoothed away.
Sand is a measure of time – how long we have spent together and how many grains are left in our hour glass.
Sand is beaches, family holidays and sunshine. Sand is piled over our buried treasures, known only to those on which we have bestowed a map.
Sand is also what we build our castles out of, a material we dream and play with.
May this sand be also representative of how your lives will always be blended with each other’s, impossible to separate and beautifully layered together.
Read R & L’s review of my work
Why I love sand ceremonies
- It’s fun and interactive; participants get ‘stuck in’ to create something together in front of their family and friends
- It’s inclusive – it’s a great way to get children and other loved ones involved
- It’s visual – it’s a beautiful ritual that symbolises perfectly what a wedding and a marriage truly means
- You get a keepsake – couples love to take their ‘central vessel’ home and place it somewhere prominent in their house as a reminder of their wedding day
Does this sound like something you would like to explore? Get in touch to discuss ideas!